(my comments are in italics)
How to Marry a Millionaire
If you want to find a mate with money, follow these not-so-easy steps. It is hard work, but will be worth it if that is the lifestyle you want. Make sure this search is what you want, and never give up on finding true love.
Steps:
And I’m just like
A relationship?
With OTHER HUMANS?
You have to be fond of each other?
And somebody has to be like “hey I’ve known you for like a week (and maybe even less) and I would like to initiate a period of mutual fondness and trust”?
And the other party doesn’t go like “wtf we’ve only known each other for a week you’re no where near my circle of trust yet, and I barely even know you”?
And then you have to actually follow through on that? Like, make a decision of “yeah I’m gonna have an intimate relationship with this person. I am going to be emotionally invested.”
Also: intimate relationships?

What is this fuckery
Do I have trust issues or social issues deep in my psyche that I need to resolve something?